Asbury College at the Olympics

After the fifth end (the fifth round) of play in curling, both teams get a few minutes to take a breather, assess their play, and strategize. The coach and fifth player, who usually sits on the sidelines, also come out to offer the players some words of encouragement, or sometimes, admonishment.

It was during this halftime of sorts that I heard the Japanese coach spit out a real gem to his women’s team, who decided to settle down right next to where I happened to be pulling cable for Neil. I’m not sure what context this comment was in, or why he decided to say it in English, but today’s Captain Obvious Award goes to Team Japan for the following:

“The way to advance in curling is to never lose a game.”

In the words of Dave Barry, I swear I’m not making that up.

Nate came up with a theory today as to why curling fans are insane. See, it doesn’t exactly make sense, as it’s the thinking man’s winter sport. You’d expect the spectators to act like those at a golf match. But no, we get a boat load of people who sing, dance, ask female curlers to marry them, and do The Wave multiple times over for no apparent reason.

See, Nate reckons, and I agree, that these are people who were pulled from a soccer match, and forced into the curling arena instead. Well, in my head it made perfect sense, anyway.

And if I hear the “Jeepers Sweepers” chant one more time, I may very well have to go to the biathlon venue to see if they can spare a rifle. The British fans have taken to singing it at their team, as well.

The players are a bit on the unhinged side, too. I guess that they want to heighten the tension in the games, so they scream their heads off at the people brushing the ice in front of the weights. One woman on the Canada team had a voice at just the right frequency to hit the resonating point in my skull, so it’s a bit piercing. Another guy, I think he’s the skip on Team Germany, tends to really accentuate the “R” in “hard.” So, when he throws a stone, it sounds like he’s trying to kill a pirate.

Pinerolo Palaghiaccio also saw its first casualty recently. One of the Swiss players had to be taken away in an ambulance yesterday, but not for the reasons one might expect. Curling isn’t the kind of action-packed sport that’s really conducive to injury, other than occasionally falling down and looking like a bonehead on international television. The Swiss have taken to kicking around a soccer ball in one of the open areas in the media compound during downtime, and the the player in question managed to bonk himself in the head hard enough with it to require a visit to the doctor. Go figure.

It’s snowing outside, for the first time since I’ve been here. It’s fairly obvious that this isn’t a normal occurrence in Pinerolo, where they only see this junk on the mountain. Oh well. Maybe I’ll see if i can start another snowball fight, and actually manage to hit somebody.

I leave in about two days. Two days. There’s so much left to do here. I haven’t gotten to my newest goals, yet, and I’d like to get my picture taken with the Japanese curling team (since I’ve come to love them and their entourage so much). I hope I can catch them away from the venue, as it appears that cable monkeys like us can’t address them directly during the game (it’s a professionalism thing, as I understand), unless they’re about to trip over our wires.

It’s amazing how quickly the time goes by. Here’s to hoping that I’ll get to do something like this again. Here’s to hoping that the snow doesn’t delay my flight. Here’s to hoping that I can still find a wife from here.